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Friday, 17 November 2017

November

Gorging disorder group has ended. It had it help on me, but mainly it just confused me all the time. I'm more thorn right now then what I was before the group. Now I some how don't think that I'm gorging food, I think more like, how little do I eat and on the other hand I think that I eat a lot and fast and without thinking. I'm so confuse right now. But I do realize that I was in different situation than rest of the group members. They all were in working life and have families. I was only one who had been out of work for ten years, had mental health problems. One thing I did learn and that was that I have been so isolated here in my home and overall in my life that I had totally different perspective to see thing then they do. They think more like my mom and my friends. Well this once again shows how different I'm to compare to other people. I'm naive, gullible, childish, narrow-minded, narrow-sighted, and many more not so flattered feature when it comes reality of the world. Well any case, now day after tomorrow I got eating disorder clinics doctor appointment and I really try to get to second gorging disorder group, so that I can continue my journey towards healthier eating habits. This group meets up 17 times, once a week. I really hope I can make it, but I'm afraid that because of my sleeping troubles did back fire on me in this group, that it would do the same in sequel group. And I did kind of got lazy after third meeting, and I didn't go to fourth meeting because I did slept in. After that everything has been hard. I didn't manage to keep in weekly goals and there for proceed in progress and in program.

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