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Monday 21 August 2017

Immature life of mine

It's something I have thought for a some time now. What kind of person I'm compare to others? Quite immature, at least that what I think. I have naive sight of the world and I spend my days like teenager on a weekend. Because of my disability pension, every day is free day to me. No responsibilities, no obligations towards other people, no school or work, no own family to take care, right now I don't even have my own dog to take care. And I have figure out that the reason why I can't take care of my garden and home is because I don't have any hurry in my life. I can always transfer thing to do for later that day or for a next day, or even a next week. I don't take the responsibility about my self either. My brain don't believe that I can do anything I want on every day of my life!!! Some basic living money is guaranteed, its not much but gives roof over my head and food on my tummy. But why ain't my head believing its freedom?

In a day I got at least 14 hours time to do things, anything I want, in a week 98 hours, in a month 420 hours, in a season 1260 hours, in a half of year 2520 hours, and a year 5040 hours. I got more free time then what I had in UK. Its a enormously a free time!!! Maybe the time has lost it meaning for me because only thing that I have done since 1.1.2010 is rest, rest and rest. And I have change from best life to couch potato and gained 82 kilos of body fat. 

What would then to be mature life in my case? Concentrate on dieting, waking up early and going bed on time, keeping clean house, improve social skills and small talk, study new things, read news, have a improving hobby. How about starting one of those. 

Writing continues at night on 21st of August 2017

Now my mind doesn't get any rest. I did make very good schedule about when I do exercise, cleaning, meet people, do laundry, ect. But I'm not able to believe it will happen. I do not believe that tomorrow morning I go to first in shower then I go to gym. I believe it will go to next month before I will even try to familiarise into the gym where I planned to go. I had in my previous gym Fitness24seven membership for three years and I didn't go there not even once. I paid 530 euros for nothing. This new gym would cost 27 euros a month if I take 3 month gym card.












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