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Friday 18 August 2017

My dreams

I'm still hopeful that I can make it to my friend place tomorrow. Its now Friday at 10.30 pm and I'm stress out and so is my stomach. Toilet and toilet paper are my friend right now. I hope I can get at least six hours to sleep so that I'm able to wake up tomorrow morning and catch the coach to Elimäki to see my good friend.

I have for a long time wondered out what could be my motivations during my dieting and life change routines? And I have come to the conclusion that it's not just the major thing I want to do, like travel abroad and have a family. Right now it's the small things. Like fitting to clothes, to fit in movie theater seats and bus/train seats, able to walk in the middle of nature, make it to grocery shop and back home yourself, just stand on different events, able to seat on the beach or in the park in the ground whit out need of chair, able to do things with your family and friends without limitations of your own body. Bigger dream are able to go to work, have a family, able to go on a date, travel and take part of activities, move freely, have a hobbies, pose for a art type of photographs, live in UK, do volunteer work in home country and abroad, go to see at least one royal wedding (hopefully British), to see my relatives, all of them. So I just have to find that one special day, when I voluntarily grab my self on the neck, and start to change my life. I have always think its a Monday, but then hole day goes by doing nothing and day ends. On Tuesday I think I start on next Monday, and so the weeks and months go by without me doing anything at all.

Added 19th of August 2017
Sorry, writing went on break. Didn't make it to see my friend.

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