My eating has gone spiral down to hill. I just eat everything that is easy to make and eat and that taste good. All home made fast food. I don't eat junk food, like hamburgers and pizza or fizzy drinks or take away food, but I do eat chicken nuggets and ready mayonnaise salads, white bread, Nordic kind of sour milk, quark, skimmed milk (a lot of), yoghourts, ice cream, pastries, hot chocolate, ect. But the bigger problem is that I eat a hell a of lot of these on one sitting. It's not one small quark but 4-5 small quarks or one big one 500 grams on less then 5 minutes. Ice cream goes 4 sticks or 1 liter at one go. And I'm infatuated on skimmed milk, I drink about 2-3 liter a day, which can make up to 1350 calories a day. Chicken nuggets are my food when I need something salty to eat, then I eat up to 15 nuggets on one meal when a normal person eats about five. I'm sure people in eating disorder clinic don't like my laziness of controlling my eating habits. My job has been to eat only and always 2000 calories per day now for three months, and I haven't manage to do it. All these eating plans has been done, but none to follow. I just don't have the functions to do it. My body hasn't used to do every day routines at around home. I'm so passive on my body and mind that I don't bothered even do breakfast on my own, so I just don't eat breakfast. I only eat when my mind tells me to, or when graving demand it. Not when I'm hungry or when its eating time. I actually only got 2½ months time to learn the right eating habits and day routine. For example its now 3 pm I have been awake since 11 am and eat quark with pineapple for breakfast and lunch 15 chicken nuggets. Not healthy at all. And nothing to drink, not even water! I should drink at least 2 liter water a day to my body to function well.
One thing that has bothered me hole summer is anxiety attacks. So I haven't feel that good for last 3½ months. Sun is the biggest problem for me. The heat, sweating, a annoying moist skin, wet clothes from sweat, oppressive air, hot burning sun. All that in everyday, so it's kind of allowed to draw curtains in front of windows and lay on the bed under the ventilator. Problem? Yes! You end up sleeping the hole day! This is what happened to me this and last summer. Actually this has happened to me since being hospitalize in 2013 end of summer. The summer 2013 I slept the hole summer and it has continued ever since. I got out of hospital in the beginning of summer 2014. Anxiety and depression did hit me and badly, so I got my self a treatment. If I break even I little sweat I start feel uncomfortable, edgy, tired, powerless, and feel like call it a day. I hate that over all feeling. It stops me doing everything I ever wanted to do. And the bigger I get, the harder it gets. I know couple of person who has had these same difficulties than me at their younger age and are now almost prisons of their own home because they can't do anything with massive body weight they need to carry on with them. These don't have helping hand like my good friend / neighbour "uno" whose name shall stay secret. "Uno" has personal assistant to help around house and tasks outside home. I'm lucky to get ride from "uno" to food shop, because I can't carry my foods to home from closest food market. I'm so unfit. This has two sides on it. This car ride is the enabler for me to get the all the foods I want which I don't manage to carry my own, but in the other hand I would otherwise order in some junk food and end up spending much more money on foods then otherwise I would. I need "uno"s car help but its up to me to control what i buy from food market. From now on, i only go to food shopping if fridge is almost empty and when I go to shopping I make beforehand grocery list which I stick to. If I need just few things I ask my friend to buy those for me. Because often when I go buy two or three things, I come up with two or three bags of food with me to bring home. To other people one shopping bag of food is enough for one week and I eat 3 to 4 shopping bags of food. No wonder I got this big!!!
I simply don't do anything, except surfing internet day after day. I don't watch television or play PlayStation games, read magazines, take care my garden, or anything. I just sit my feet up all day long. I know it but haven't realized but I'm kind of those people on television who are always eating and are couch potato with food all over clothes, hands dirty, double chin, like people on the poor living areas on USA. No decent cloths. And you look like bum at front of home porch. Little by little a have realize how ugly my body looks like. Before I didn't have opinion about my body, not even when I was normal weight. Now I see details in my body that I don't like. Like my underarms, full of stretch marks, fat waves, surgery scar, on top of arm there is red and pimply rash. What I then want to look like? Rash free, pimply free, scar free, stretch marks free and fat wave free body, and also (for the future) loose skin free. My ideal weight is between 62 to 73 kilos. And now I'm 155 kilos, so I need to loose up to 82 to 93 kilos. Thankfully Finland health care will remove excess skin if it cause problems, like rash and wounds. The line is 6 months. I also wish to get rid of my hernia that i got on my upper belly.
I just saw a lovely picture of so called "plus" size model. That exactly body that I would be very happy to have. I don't need to be skin and bone like Hollywood actresses and super models are.
Weight 155 kilos:
sport: time burn calories
walking 60 minutes 488 calories
walking 45 minutes 366 calories
walking 30 minutes 244 calories
gym 60 minutes 976 calories
gym 45 minutes 732 calories
gym 30 minutes 488 calories
exercise bike 60 minutes 976 calories
exercise bike 45 minutes 671 calories
exercise bike 30 minutes 447 calories
exercise bike 15 minutes 223 calories
exercise bike 10 minutes 149 calories
exercise bike 5 minutes 74 calories (I start with this)
water running 60 minutes 1302 calories
water running 45 minutes 976 calories
water running 30 minutes 651 calories
swim 30 minutes 570 calories
swim 15 minutes 285 calories
swim 10 minutes 190 calories
swim 5 minutes 108 calories (I start with this)
And then some calories that I can burn at home:
hoovering 15 minutes 142 calories
walking the dog 15 minutes 122 calories
walking the dog 30 minutes 241 calories
walking the dog 45 minutes 366 calories
food shopping 15 minutes 142 calories
raking 15 minutes 162 calories
gardening 15 minutes 162 calories
gardening 30 minutes 325 calories
gardening 60 minutes 651 calories
mow 15 minutes 244 calores
And then some personal stuff đ
take a shower 5 minutes 27 calories
take a shower 10 minutes 54 calories
take a shower 15 minutes 81 calories
take a shower 30 minutes 162 calories
resting 15 minutes 40 calories
resting 30 minutes 80 calories
resting 60 minutes 160 calories
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